Musings of a Broken Man

It doesn’t matter how many times I watch that scene, it’s heart rending. Tears, heart clenching in my chest, as if one of the many girls I’ve loved is being broken in front of me. It’ll honestly take days to shake this feeling.

Sigur Ros - The Rains of Castamere - Despite all the negative connotation behind this song in The Song of Ice and Fire, I find Sigur Ros’s performance beautiful.


 KILL la KILL: Sisters - Ryuko Matoi + Satsuki Kiryuin

Via Anime Expo | July 3-6, 2014

I contribute 90% of my coding skill to my office naps. As I lie there, sleeping peacefully, face planted firmly in front of the keyboard with my arms splayed across the desk, bathed in the holy comforting light of my dual monitors, it’s almost like a pagan prayer to the technology deities. They bless those faithful followers with software engineering wisdom above the common man.

Wait, what?! Next month is gonna be hella hectic.

  • Next week, April 10th, Andy, Alex, and I fly out of Dulles International Airport on our way to PAX East in Boston. Gaming, seafood, and annual shenanigans with that whore Brian. Only downside is I’m sure the flight won’t be nearly as entertaining as last year.
  • April 25th, camping and hiking with Andy, Luigi, and a couple coworkers at Shenandoah National Park. My mouth is already watering at the thought of fire toasted marshmallows. Let’s just hope that bastard Luigi actually plans ahead properly this time!
  • May 10th, fishing trip at Buggs Island Lake with my Dad and Uncle Danny. Any combination of beer, boats, fishing, and those two old bastards is sure to be a blast. Love my family.
  • Somehow, on one of the two weekends free during that time, I need to squeeze a trip to Tennessee with Andy and Alex to our friend Jeff’s place down in Johnson City before Alex bails and moves down to Houston, Texas. Unfortunately, that weekend sounds like it’s going to be a monstrous moonshine hangover in the making. 

So about that boredom I was talking about, let’s see if I can’t find some madness during all these trips. Amusingly, I think these plans kind of represent me perfectly. If I managed to squeeze some anime and women into that time, it’d be everything I love in a nutshell. That weird combination of geeky genuinely insane country boy. 


Boredom - Idle hands are the Devil’s Playground.

          Sometimes, like right now, I get so ever loving bored, and it’s really a very dangerous predicament. When I say boredom, I mean bored with life, not necessarily with my daily activities. Yes, work is a bit of a snooze. I twiddle my thumbs waiting for other crewman of the S.S. Shit Show to shovel coal into the furnace so that I can steer it into port. A good bit of my time is honestly spent rushing others along so I can get my job done, but I’m plenty happy with the rest of my day’s agenda. Naps, gaming, anime, and chilling with friends is a perfectly acceptable way to cruise through life in my opinion. I know, I know. “OMG such a shut in, get out more nerd. Have you even been in a club? Gosh.” I could go into an entire debate about the merits of different ways of living, but the only “correct” way to live is the way which makes YOU happy, so I’ll avoid that discussion for now.

          When I say I’m bored, I mean I’ve gotten that desire, that itch, the temptation to have a new “story”. Make a little chaos, you know? Inject a little crazy into your life. Those stories where as soon as you get a moment of rest, you’re like “HOLY SHIT Brian, you fucking slut, you will not believe the shit that just happened”. Back home, growing up, I was constantly regaled with the insanity of my family. I’m the black sheep, but I still got that fool’s blood that drives us all. I want to be able to tell my son, “if you get in even half as much trouble as me, your mother and I are fucked”, just like my father told me. When I get in these moods, it’s really a roll of the dice to see what’s going to happen. “Why?” becomes “Why not?”. In the past, I’ve made some very questionable decisions like this. “Damn I’m bored. As far as I know she’s married… Ah fuck it. Not my problem.” “Hmmm. I’ll write this story about the past, leave it here for all the world to read. Oh there it is. There it is. She’s calling, and she’s mad as shit.” “We stopped caring about the rules a long time ago didn’t we?” Honestly, I know sometimes my actions and the stories I’ve written on here have painted me as a person of questionable character. But trust me, I’m honestly a good guy, just occasionally, occasionally I have the intentions of a fiend. 

          What’s next? I’ll leave that to imagination for now. Peace.


Lincoln was a true wordsmith. LOL

          For half a second, I thought I’d gotten caught up in the corporate lifestyle of NoVA, but today I shockingly realized how very untrue that is. As I was sitting in traffic on my commute home, I looked around at all the people surrounding me. All these fancy fuckers in their suits and dress clothes, driving Mercedes, Lexus, and Volvos, in dull tones of beige, gray, black, and white. It was like a corporate cookie factory, pressing out one office zombie after another. I’m there, driving a bright red Mazda Speed3, windows rolled down because it’s a beautiful day, blasting a promo club mix by DJ Schmolli, while all these others listen to NPR with their windows firmly rolled up giving me dirty looks. It’s like no one else wants to stand out, no one else wants to be unique. “The nail that sticks out gets hammered down” mindset. It’s just not in my nature to conform like that. Swagger just comes with the gig when you’re born with the name Bragg. Confidence to the brink of arrogance my friends. :-D

I have nothing nice to say, ever.

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